I’m so excited for the next part of your journey! This school is so fortunate to have you, and I know the girls will love being with classmates and friends. Parish schools are such special places. The angst is real and I’m hopeful for more writing time for you in this year— and I know it will happen. Happy birthday my friend.
I just wanted to say how considerate and thoughtful your daughter was to say that about watching Rosie so you can write a book. All of those “hour-a-days” will surely add up to something great.
I am yearning to do several of the things you mentioned here-write, take care of myself/work out, and work in my garden. It feels really hard now to do any of those things, and writing has been winning because I can do it while sitting down with the baby, which is lovely, but I haven’t washed my hair in weeks and my herb garden is being overtaken by grass and weeds, and my tomatoes need to be tied up and are falling down. It’s all a big trade off I suppose.
Glad you were able to make it to the coffee shop friend!
I quite enjoyed reading this. Your musings about your recent thoughts really do feel like chatting over coffee—maybe something I’m not getting enough of IRL 🤔.I’m happy for you that you’re starting to focus on that more. I can relate to the lack of physical self-care—specifically exercise. I also worry how I will work it in because I plan to be in the baby/toddler years for a while longer!
Although I have tried many times over the last couple of years, and I will continue to try, I have not had the time or energy to get really into it. I have never been super into working out, but when I was younger, pre-children, I naturally walked more and possibly needed it less to stay healthy. Now, as the weight and lower energy catch up, I wish I could address it better.
There is so much in here that was a delight and encouragement and tender. 42 sounds great! And also maybe overwhelming with the amount of creative/physical energy suddenly appearing. For what it’s worth, I’d love to read about this if you ever write on it:
“I also want to reflect more on how I could have taken better care of myself in the years of early motherhood: what my challenges were and what would have made a difference.”
Blessings on the year ahead and all the expected, and unexpected, adventures to come!
Aw thank you for reading Leah and for this kind comment. And thanks for letting me know you'd like to read about that - I definitely want to think more about it! Meanwhile, here's a great article from Fairer Disptuations that sticks with me:
Thanks for this! I read this article when it was published and have been very thankful for her perspective. There are a lot of different ways to gain strength, or to “take care of oneself,” so I’m ready to listen when mothers talk about it. I especially perked up when you mentioned it because you are finding yourself in the (bittersweet) time of hindsight here.
A mom of five, about ten years ahead of me, told me today that she looks back in amazement at how she “did it all” in the little years and assured me I would do the same, like, “right now, you’re really doing so much more than you realize, and it’s more impressive and more difficult than you understand.”
It was a comforting and clarifying moment. I wonder if you’re having similar thoughts in your reflections.
I actually don’t think I’ll feel that way. Or at least I don’t yet. I think I’ve been highly conscious of just how much I’m doing (which is why I write a lot about the work of home + children, for it to be recognized and valued appropriately), and I also battle perfectionist tendencies so I’m also forever a little like “eh you could be doing better.” I mean I hope I’ll feel this way but I definitely don’t now! I’m honestly kind of in awe realizing how much I neglected myself in the early years, mostly physically, so it’s feeling pretty opposite for me at the moment🫠
So many new and exciting things coming up for you! I'm happy your parish school is going classical; that's beautiful. My daughter goes to a classical school that's Catholic but not Diocesan. The Diocesan schools around here are... Well, one of my friends has toured most of them and tried several of them for her daughter and eventually ended up homeschooling. Another friend tried to pour into our parish school and create a Catechesis of the Good Shepherd program for them, which was beautiful and the children were really responding to it, and the Diocesan superintendent came down on it within the year and squashed it. Whyyyy. (I do CGS for the parish in that school building on Sundays, so I feel like an heiress, to inherit all three Atria, completely stocked with the gorgeous materials she made.)
We didn't plant our garden this year (we've been scrappy beginners for a couple years) and I've tried to make peace with different seasons of life having different priorities.
My husband is starting a side business and the initial version of the software has to be ready to sell to customers this fall, so he tries to spend every Saturday working on it. I have a 7 year old and and newly 2 year old who likes to run and no fence.
And during the school year this year, because my husband's new job is not remote and we are a one car family, I was spending 2.5 hours in the car every weekday, dropping my husband at work, dropping my daughter at school, doing school pick up, doing work pickup. (We had good conversations before drop offs and I did get a lot of audiobook time on the way back!)
For the summer, most days I can just tell my husband to take the car and the kids and I can walk anywhere we need or want to go (library, playground, friends' houses); it feels so freeing! I want to seriously declutter the house before school starts again and my days are so broken up again by the drop offs and pick ups, so it's easier to maintain the house during road warrior season. Once I evaluated the options and our values and decreased some other commitments (we host open invite dinner twice a month now instead of every week, it's been weekly for the last eight years), I did have peace about this is how I can serve my family in this season.
And re: writing a book with kids, have you read One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulweiler? If you haven't, I recommend it!
Yeah, so excited re: the move to classical. It's a whole story that I don't feel I can tell on the Internet but God's hand is really clearly at work in our community and it's really exciting. Also I can't imagine CGS being shut down... yet I can. What a shame tho.
Totally get that about the garden being a no-go some years. Been there! I've struggled w perfectionism around gardening big time!
Exciting re: your husband's side business! I hope things launch well in the fall!
Amazing about being a 1-car household... I've dreamed about that, but honestly in our community it wouldn't work. I know you have a sweet set-up though:)
De-cluttering the house... I dream of some hours w no kids here so I can truly focus on that. Maybe this fall! I'm only teaching til 12:30 each day and am hoping for a good afternoon nap from the pre-schooler.
YES, I've read One Beautiful Dream, but thank you for the rec! I love Jen, and have also read her other two books which are great as well.
Happy summer! Thank you for reading and sharing; I truly do appreciate it! I hope we can meet in person someday :)
Happy birthday! All of this resonated so much (I also have 3, aged 6, 4 and 2) and probably won't have any more as I'm 40 now. There are glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel as they get older and I'm starting to feel more myself again (and I'm also trying to write a book lol, in extremely limited time...)
Thanks for reading and for letting me know you're right there with me :)
Re: writing a book with young kids... I could talk about it forever. It's been an ongoing drama for me for about six years lol. DM me if you ever want to nerd out about it!
"The reality of babies and very young children is so much for me—I find it all-consuming in a way that’s very difficult for me, even as I also find it totally and completely magical."
I feel this so deeply, Amber! And I'm glad you shared that last point, too, as I can relate to that challenge as well. I freakin' love what Alice said to you -- you're clearly a wonderful mom, and you will write that book one day.
I’m so excited for the next part of your journey! This school is so fortunate to have you, and I know the girls will love being with classmates and friends. Parish schools are such special places. The angst is real and I’m hopeful for more writing time for you in this year— and I know it will happen. Happy birthday my friend.
Thank you thank you, thank you. I'll say it again: your friendship is a huge blessing to me!
Laughing at your caption about feelings 🤣
I just wanted to say how considerate and thoughtful your daughter was to say that about watching Rosie so you can write a book. All of those “hour-a-days” will surely add up to something great.
I am yearning to do several of the things you mentioned here-write, take care of myself/work out, and work in my garden. It feels really hard now to do any of those things, and writing has been winning because I can do it while sitting down with the baby, which is lovely, but I haven’t washed my hair in weeks and my herb garden is being overtaken by grass and weeds, and my tomatoes need to be tied up and are falling down. It’s all a big trade off I suppose.
Glad you were able to make it to the coffee shop friend!
I quite enjoyed reading this. Your musings about your recent thoughts really do feel like chatting over coffee—maybe something I’m not getting enough of IRL 🤔.I’m happy for you that you’re starting to focus on that more. I can relate to the lack of physical self-care—specifically exercise. I also worry how I will work it in because I plan to be in the baby/toddler years for a while longer!
Although I have tried many times over the last couple of years, and I will continue to try, I have not had the time or energy to get really into it. I have never been super into working out, but when I was younger, pre-children, I naturally walked more and possibly needed it less to stay healthy. Now, as the weight and lower energy catch up, I wish I could address it better.
Happy birthday!
There is so much in here that was a delight and encouragement and tender. 42 sounds great! And also maybe overwhelming with the amount of creative/physical energy suddenly appearing. For what it’s worth, I’d love to read about this if you ever write on it:
“I also want to reflect more on how I could have taken better care of myself in the years of early motherhood: what my challenges were and what would have made a difference.”
Blessings on the year ahead and all the expected, and unexpected, adventures to come!
Aw thank you for reading Leah and for this kind comment. And thanks for letting me know you'd like to read about that - I definitely want to think more about it! Meanwhile, here's a great article from Fairer Disptuations that sticks with me:
https://fairerdisputations.org/womens-strength/
Women - moms especially - need to be strong! Physically, not just mentally!
Thanks for this! I read this article when it was published and have been very thankful for her perspective. There are a lot of different ways to gain strength, or to “take care of oneself,” so I’m ready to listen when mothers talk about it. I especially perked up when you mentioned it because you are finding yourself in the (bittersweet) time of hindsight here.
A mom of five, about ten years ahead of me, told me today that she looks back in amazement at how she “did it all” in the little years and assured me I would do the same, like, “right now, you’re really doing so much more than you realize, and it’s more impressive and more difficult than you understand.”
It was a comforting and clarifying moment. I wonder if you’re having similar thoughts in your reflections.
I actually don’t think I’ll feel that way. Or at least I don’t yet. I think I’ve been highly conscious of just how much I’m doing (which is why I write a lot about the work of home + children, for it to be recognized and valued appropriately), and I also battle perfectionist tendencies so I’m also forever a little like “eh you could be doing better.” I mean I hope I’ll feel this way but I definitely don’t now! I’m honestly kind of in awe realizing how much I neglected myself in the early years, mostly physically, so it’s feeling pretty opposite for me at the moment🫠
See, this is why I’d love to hear it if you ever write on it. (And I hope the opposite feelings come tenderly without too much grief….if it shows up!)
Laughed at the being 100% "N" feelings. Solidarity, sister.
It's a whole thing. I know you get it!! ;)
Happy birthday!
So many new and exciting things coming up for you! I'm happy your parish school is going classical; that's beautiful. My daughter goes to a classical school that's Catholic but not Diocesan. The Diocesan schools around here are... Well, one of my friends has toured most of them and tried several of them for her daughter and eventually ended up homeschooling. Another friend tried to pour into our parish school and create a Catechesis of the Good Shepherd program for them, which was beautiful and the children were really responding to it, and the Diocesan superintendent came down on it within the year and squashed it. Whyyyy. (I do CGS for the parish in that school building on Sundays, so I feel like an heiress, to inherit all three Atria, completely stocked with the gorgeous materials she made.)
We didn't plant our garden this year (we've been scrappy beginners for a couple years) and I've tried to make peace with different seasons of life having different priorities.
My husband is starting a side business and the initial version of the software has to be ready to sell to customers this fall, so he tries to spend every Saturday working on it. I have a 7 year old and and newly 2 year old who likes to run and no fence.
And during the school year this year, because my husband's new job is not remote and we are a one car family, I was spending 2.5 hours in the car every weekday, dropping my husband at work, dropping my daughter at school, doing school pick up, doing work pickup. (We had good conversations before drop offs and I did get a lot of audiobook time on the way back!)
For the summer, most days I can just tell my husband to take the car and the kids and I can walk anywhere we need or want to go (library, playground, friends' houses); it feels so freeing! I want to seriously declutter the house before school starts again and my days are so broken up again by the drop offs and pick ups, so it's easier to maintain the house during road warrior season. Once I evaluated the options and our values and decreased some other commitments (we host open invite dinner twice a month now instead of every week, it's been weekly for the last eight years), I did have peace about this is how I can serve my family in this season.
And re: writing a book with kids, have you read One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulweiler? If you haven't, I recommend it!
Hi Kate! Sorry it took me a while to reply :P
Yeah, so excited re: the move to classical. It's a whole story that I don't feel I can tell on the Internet but God's hand is really clearly at work in our community and it's really exciting. Also I can't imagine CGS being shut down... yet I can. What a shame tho.
Totally get that about the garden being a no-go some years. Been there! I've struggled w perfectionism around gardening big time!
Exciting re: your husband's side business! I hope things launch well in the fall!
Amazing about being a 1-car household... I've dreamed about that, but honestly in our community it wouldn't work. I know you have a sweet set-up though:)
De-cluttering the house... I dream of some hours w no kids here so I can truly focus on that. Maybe this fall! I'm only teaching til 12:30 each day and am hoping for a good afternoon nap from the pre-schooler.
YES, I've read One Beautiful Dream, but thank you for the rec! I love Jen, and have also read her other two books which are great as well.
Happy summer! Thank you for reading and sharing; I truly do appreciate it! I hope we can meet in person someday :)
It'd be so cool to meet in person someday! Who knows, maybe it'll happen!
You're doing beautiful work with your life.
Happy birthday! All of this resonated so much (I also have 3, aged 6, 4 and 2) and probably won't have any more as I'm 40 now. There are glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel as they get older and I'm starting to feel more myself again (and I'm also trying to write a book lol, in extremely limited time...)
Thanks for reading and for letting me know you're right there with me :)
Re: writing a book with young kids... I could talk about it forever. It's been an ongoing drama for me for about six years lol. DM me if you ever want to nerd out about it!
Happy birthday friend! Praying year 42 is a fruitful and restful season for you! ❤️
Thank you!! I think year 42 will hold some interesting things!
"The reality of babies and very young children is so much for me—I find it all-consuming in a way that’s very difficult for me, even as I also find it totally and completely magical."
I feel this so deeply, Amber! And I'm glad you shared that last point, too, as I can relate to that challenge as well. I freakin' love what Alice said to you -- you're clearly a wonderful mom, and you will write that book one day.
Happy belated birthday!!