"Mothers in the Middle"
A series on mothers who have thoughtfully navigated motherhood and work and a quick question for you
I’m getting around to putting out an idea I had a while back when I was commenting on the Harrison Butker speech. (Here1 and here.)
There’s one area that, I think more than any other, has become a passion topic of mine in this motherhood/culture space, and that is the topic of motherhood and work. There’s so much to parse out.
A big idea is that we only want to use the word “work” to describe paid, outside-the-home efforts, it’s a big problem, as any mother knows that IT IS ABSOLUTELY WORK to care for children and a home.
That’s one aspect of motherhood/work I want to write about more long-form. (Currently reading an incredible related book I can’t wait to share with you!)
Another I have written plenty about is the dichotomy of “working mom” / “SAHM.” We have a strong narrative, at least here in the U.S., that there are two paths, two identities for women who become mothers, and there are ideas attached to those two paths that tell what kind of woman and mother one is. You pick one, and that’s that.
It’s… the worst.
I’m starting an interview series where I invite real women to share about how they’ve navigated the work of early motherhood and work outside the home. I’m calling it “Mothers in the Middle.”
I’ve named it thus not just because of the great alliteration but because this construct in our consciousness is so strong, and so garbage-y and it needs pushback, hard. There are many women who are either a) literally in the middle by being home with kids some of the time and doing paid work some of the time, and/or b) existing on one end of the spectrum technically but not at all an embodiment of its accompanying stereotype.
(And then, of course, so many have shifted their motherhood/work situation over time as opportunities presented, their families grew, etc.)
I’d like to talk with them and amplify their voices and experiences, because I think we need to hear them. We need this dichotomy debunked so that we can be free to navigate our own lives as women and mothers without its influence.
A question for you! Should this be written-style questions (like this interview I did with on The Cycle Show)? Or should it be a lil podcast?
Talk soon!
I initially paywalled this post, but I decided to un-paywall it. Have a read if you missed it—it breaks down a really a central view of mine.
Looking forward to this! I would love it if an interview with a mom in the medical world were included. I’m a third year family medicine resident with two littles, so currently on the “extreme” end of working hours, but I don’t identify myself as a career person and it’s hard to find voices I relate to in that sphere. I’m glad I found your substack. Thank your for your lovely writing!
Love this! I so appreciate when interviews like these are written so I can go back to reference/revisit easily. So even if you do a podcast, would love transcript and/or key quotes typed out.
(I’m sure you have lots of people to chat with, but if you need someone to talk to 🙋♀️ )