Thank you for this post! Though this is my first time reading this post and the book, your post has found me at just the right time. I’ve heard about attachment for a while now but this is my first deep dive into it. Although I get a lot of it, inviting dependency from the child is hard for me to buy into. It feels so much in contrast with the Montessori philosophy- particularly that children crave independence and want to participate in the world- that I have been assimilating these last few years. Anyway, I know not every method is meant for every person but I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on if/how these two philosophies work together.
Hi there! This is an interesting comment! I love Montessori and considered becoming certified in it when I was a teacher. I've never actually thought about this, but here's my best shot at it off the cuff: Montessori is an educational philosophy, whereas attachment is a concept in child development. I don't see them as contradictory, though I can see how it could seem that way! I also will say, I don't practice "attachment parenting," even though I very much center the concept of attachment in my parenting. I wonder if that is some of what you're thinking about. Anyway, I'll DM you so we can nerd out about this! :)
I think that Neufeld's concept of inviting dependence in order to cultivate independence *when it is developmentally appropriate* is something that can work with Montessori's theories (I also think her theories are both educational and developmental). Young children may be able to independently get dressed, wash their hands, etc, but still deeply depend on their parents for emotional regulation, security, and so on. I do think that there will be some periods of time/development in a child's life where they *can* do certain things independently, but for some reason need their parents/attachment figures to help them with those tasks as they struggle through a challenging season of life (e.g.: when a new sibling is born).
Building a family culture is so important. I think it's very much missing in our culture. My husband is from the Middle East and has repeated said "Our family does this" or "Our family *doesn't* do this," and I think that's a great way to establish the norms for one's family unit. Also, I didn't read this book, but I cheated and read a summary. 😆
Yes love that. Ha, no worries. It’s worth picking up though IMO - just packed with goodness and a real affirmation for those of us taking the role and responsibilities of parenthood seriously.
Thank you for this post! Though this is my first time reading this post and the book, your post has found me at just the right time. I’ve heard about attachment for a while now but this is my first deep dive into it. Although I get a lot of it, inviting dependency from the child is hard for me to buy into. It feels so much in contrast with the Montessori philosophy- particularly that children crave independence and want to participate in the world- that I have been assimilating these last few years. Anyway, I know not every method is meant for every person but I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on if/how these two philosophies work together.
Hi there! This is an interesting comment! I love Montessori and considered becoming certified in it when I was a teacher. I've never actually thought about this, but here's my best shot at it off the cuff: Montessori is an educational philosophy, whereas attachment is a concept in child development. I don't see them as contradictory, though I can see how it could seem that way! I also will say, I don't practice "attachment parenting," even though I very much center the concept of attachment in my parenting. I wonder if that is some of what you're thinking about. Anyway, I'll DM you so we can nerd out about this! :)
I think that Neufeld's concept of inviting dependence in order to cultivate independence *when it is developmentally appropriate* is something that can work with Montessori's theories (I also think her theories are both educational and developmental). Young children may be able to independently get dressed, wash their hands, etc, but still deeply depend on their parents for emotional regulation, security, and so on. I do think that there will be some periods of time/development in a child's life where they *can* do certain things independently, but for some reason need their parents/attachment figures to help them with those tasks as they struggle through a challenging season of life (e.g.: when a new sibling is born).
Building a family culture is so important. I think it's very much missing in our culture. My husband is from the Middle East and has repeated said "Our family does this" or "Our family *doesn't* do this," and I think that's a great way to establish the norms for one's family unit. Also, I didn't read this book, but I cheated and read a summary. 😆
Yes love that. Ha, no worries. It’s worth picking up though IMO - just packed with goodness and a real affirmation for those of us taking the role and responsibilities of parenthood seriously.