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About a year ago, I set my aspirations to write a book aside. The notecards outlining my ideas came off the wall and went binder-clipped into my desk drawer. The working title for the book was Radical Mom.
I’d had this book swirling in my brain for years, and I felt like I’d tried everything to get it out of me. I had made progress, but not finished. It felt very frustrating. So like I’m doing so much more often these days, I asked God about it.
The message came through pretty clear: It’s not for right now.
This wasn’t what I wanted to hear and my stubborn heart protested. “But I’ve thought so much about this! I have important things to say! I know exactly how and why I want to write it! Women with little kids can write books; I just need to be more disciplined!"
After all these reactionary thoughts passed through my mind, I felt another message come through: I never said never. I said not right now.
Exhale. “Fiiiine.”
(A life-long control freak learning to trust and surrender. It’s… a whole thing.)
And so it went that the notecards came down, the Google doc stopped being opened, and I thought less and less about writing a book. Instead, I started writing and sharing more on Instagram1 about my take on motherhood.
The book had gone through several different iterations in my brain as I kept asking myself: what do I really want to say? And then one day, the phrase radical mom popped into my brain. It was perfect. I loved the vibe of it; it was very… me. I also felt it captured what I wanted to do: articulate a conception of motherhood I didn’t really see anywhere else, one that doesn’t neatly fit with Christian culture and the expectations of mothers often found there, but doesn’t reflect the values and norms of popular culture, either.
A personal motherhood manifesto.
Among many things, this book also came out of a sense of loneliness, a feeling that I didn’t quite fit in with any “groups” of mothers I saw represented in our cultural consciousness. And then last year on Instagram, a weird thing happened.
A new account popped up, with the handle
. (Actually, at first they were called defendbreastfeeding. Remember that, Natasha?) I loved the things they were saying and immediately felt a kindred vibe. I messaged them to see what was up, and lo and behold, it was two mothers behind the account, one a former English teacher, the other, a writer. (I know.) They were starting a Substack publication and an Instagram account to share their views on modern motherhood.Finally, I’d found some women who think of motherhood like I do: not as oppressive, but as transformational. Who see the female body as a vehicle of power, not an obstacle to it. Who think women matter in motherhood, but children do, too.
Recently, when brainstorming posts to write next here on One Tired Mother, I randomly decided to dig out these notecards from my desk drawer. I wrote down a bunch of the main points and drafted a post titled “You Might Be a Radical Mom If…”. I planned to publish it here, but then I thought: I think this is meant for their Substack, not mine. They’re gathering the radical moms. I’m over here musing on books and personal growth, lol.
So I reached out, and they published it.
Finally, I’d found women who think of motherhood like I do. Not as oppressive, but as transformational. Who see the female body as a vehicle of power, not an obstacle to it. Who think women matter in motherhood, but children do, too.
Radical moms are a diverse group, but they can for sure agree on one thing: much of modern Western culture is garbage when it comes to motherhood. Here’s a bit of the intro of the piece:
In radical motherhood, the terms of “working mom” and “stay-at-home mom” are irrelevant, as are religious or political beliefs. Radical moms are a new breed of mothers that exist outside of these boring and antiquated labels. A radical mom is simply a woman who does not accept the current norms of motherhood. While we are inside modern culture, we're not of it.
I go on to list various attitudes and opinions of women I’ve met that run counter to mainstream motherhood narratives.
I don’t know if the book will ever materialize. I do know there’s a growing number of mothers who think motherhood is powerful and mothers are amazing, and I’m proud to be among them.
Hit the link below to read “You Might Be a Radical Mom If…,” and let me know what you think!