I love the word ‘repair’. Rachelle Garcia from Innate Traditions called this word in through her “the right way to raise children” class. Not only does this work with children, but infants, and babies whose language doesn’t make us believe they are capable of a conversation. Yes, we can sit with them and explain that our actions weren’t appropriate or okay, whether that was frustration towards the kids or an angry fight w dad. This creates the foundation of respect and offers us the chance to take accountability and show our children that we too make mistakes. This also shows children that they are deserving of respect, at any age.
I think in some ways, this term repair feels limited for most- esp in our society where if someone does us wrong, esp a partner, it’s 2 strike and you’re out. Often times there’s no sincere willingness to repair a situation. Really, there’s little maturity across the board when it comes to our emotions- we let them take control and want little to do with sincere change except for from within. But I think repairing relationships is so important. Of course I’m
Not saying all, and there is a level of stupidity to repair an abusive relationship. But often times two adults are playing immature games that hurt the child in us, and the child sabotages the relationship instead of the adult repairing it.
In my own issues with my fiancé and his tendency to drink in response to his issues, I think some of the best advice I’ve gotten is that it’s okay to repair. And that there’s a possibility of redemption.
Ah interesting! I love her work so much! Haven't taken anything but have seen it. I so agree that most of us just don't really have the capacity to hold the concept of repair. I see a culture of rampant perfectionism. Thanks for sharing regarding your fiance. It's a very delicate thing to be a person of true grace and forgiveness but also ensure you have appropriate boundaries in place, especially if there's addiction at play (not saying he is addicted; you didn't share details). I'm curious if you know the book Getting the Love You Want - its basic premise is that we tend to partner with someone who will help us heal our childhood wounds. Very interesting and resonates with me.
I love the word ‘repair’. Rachelle Garcia from Innate Traditions called this word in through her “the right way to raise children” class. Not only does this work with children, but infants, and babies whose language doesn’t make us believe they are capable of a conversation. Yes, we can sit with them and explain that our actions weren’t appropriate or okay, whether that was frustration towards the kids or an angry fight w dad. This creates the foundation of respect and offers us the chance to take accountability and show our children that we too make mistakes. This also shows children that they are deserving of respect, at any age.
I think in some ways, this term repair feels limited for most- esp in our society where if someone does us wrong, esp a partner, it’s 2 strike and you’re out. Often times there’s no sincere willingness to repair a situation. Really, there’s little maturity across the board when it comes to our emotions- we let them take control and want little to do with sincere change except for from within. But I think repairing relationships is so important. Of course I’m
Not saying all, and there is a level of stupidity to repair an abusive relationship. But often times two adults are playing immature games that hurt the child in us, and the child sabotages the relationship instead of the adult repairing it.
In my own issues with my fiancé and his tendency to drink in response to his issues, I think some of the best advice I’ve gotten is that it’s okay to repair. And that there’s a possibility of redemption.
Ah interesting! I love her work so much! Haven't taken anything but have seen it. I so agree that most of us just don't really have the capacity to hold the concept of repair. I see a culture of rampant perfectionism. Thanks for sharing regarding your fiance. It's a very delicate thing to be a person of true grace and forgiveness but also ensure you have appropriate boundaries in place, especially if there's addiction at play (not saying he is addicted; you didn't share details). I'm curious if you know the book Getting the Love You Want - its basic premise is that we tend to partner with someone who will help us heal our childhood wounds. Very interesting and resonates with me.
Also, I apologize it took me so long to reply to your comment!