About me
Hi! I’m Amber, the writer behind One Tired Mother! I’m a forty-something (ah, that’s weird to say) married Midwestern mother of three. I’m a teacher of reading, writing, and body literacy as well as a freelance writer. I’m a lifelong spiritual seeker and skeptic: I was raised in a Christian family but didn’t claim the faith until my mid-twenties, and then I converted to Catholicism in my late 30s. If you’re into this kind of thing, I’m also an INTP, Enneagram 6, and Melancholic.
I started writing a small blog when I left teaching in 2014. I had my first baby in 2016 and continued writing on that small blog and later on Instagram. I launched One Tired Mother in 2023. I love Substack so much; I’ve abandoned Instagram and the blog (it’s actually gone from the Internet—story here). I sometimes write for other places too, but mostly here on Substack!
Writing is like air for me: I can’t live without it. It’s how I process my deep feelings and thoughts that I can’t help but have, and sharing the way I see things has been so meaningful to me over the years. There’s nothing I love more than connection with others over ideas and experiences—my ideal afternoon is a long conversation in a coffeeshop (ideally with just one other person) about the things that matter most. I’m grateful every day that I’ve built a little career/hobby that brings me so much joy and fulfillment, just out of having thoughts and putting words on a page! I tell my kids that I “get paid to have opinions,” ha!
About One Tired Mother
One Tired Mother’s description is “advocacy for women in a world that simultaneously devalues, pedestals, and ignores motherhood.” I write essays on motherhood, womanhood, and spirituality that challenge the status quo of both secular and Christian culture. Basically, I don’t see mothers appropriately valued really anywhere in American society, and I’m annoyed about that!
(I’m also fascinated, since, in my estimation, motherhood is extremely important to our collective flourishing.)
My biggest interest is the intersection of motherhood and feminism. I’m not a fan of mainstream feminism but I still think of myself as a feminist because I believe women deserve woman-specific support. I tend to give voice to the experiences of caretaking/at-home mothers in particular, whose perspectives are largely unheard in the motherhood discourse (because, well, they don’t have childcare so they can write think pieces at the coffeeshop).
One Tired Mother is for every mother who’s ever felt both marginalized and put under a microscope, like they’re not doing enough but also maybe they’re doing too much. As I wrote in my very first essay (now published at Verily!) here:
“Apparently, these are our options as modern women: Barely consider motherhood or lay ourselves down at its feet. Motherhood is either a) boring, shallow, and irrelevant, or b) something we should totally lose ourselves in.”
I feel like there’s a better way than these two options, a middle ground where women can be devoted moms and whole women. I’m finding it and sharing about it as I do. One Tired Mother is also for anyone who cares about the well-being of mothers, which honestly should be all of us.
One last thing: I write about motherhood, but no, I’m not giving annoying parenting advice or nor am I musing sentimentally. I’m interested in exploring the forces shaping modern motherhood: what is stressing moms out, how can we do better for moms, etc. (But also, we’re going for hope and charity > anger and despair.) Mostly, I’m trying to tell the nuanced truth about what it means to be a mother in a world that just doesn’t seem to know what to do with us.
Support One Tired Mother
You can be a free subscriber to One Tired Mother, or a full (paid) one. Free subscribers get my posts sent directly to their email when I hit publish. That’s cool and I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my words!
I mostly make money from writing by freelancing—writing for other places online—but I do have paid subscribers to this passion publication, an option for those who really resonate with my work and/or have the desire to support it. In addition to a boatload of my gratitude, full (paid) subscribers get:
The ability to read the full archive of published essays (over 100!). I paywall everything I write here about two weeks after I hit publish.
A “Resources” page I continually add to that’s only accessible to full subscribers
Access to all my work—I occassionally paywall things immediately so that only full subscribers can read or listen (more private thoughts or experiences, things I’d rather not the entire Internet be able to access)
The satisfaction of knowing they’re supporting an independent creator + mother whose work they believe in
New! My chat space is now only for paid subs… a place to parse out the details of navigating motherhood well in this culture that wants us to either self-sacrifice completely or not at all.
Your subscription is also advocacy!
By becoming a full subscriber, you’re not just supporting a writer you like, you’re investing in these things:
Freethinking cultural criticism. No echo chamber here: I call out something in feminist thought and turn right around in the next post and examine Christian culture. I’m looking for truth, not belonging in an ideological tribe. I’ve always been this way and it’s freeing to have a place to explore like this, something that feels rarer and rarer in our culture!
A new feminism. I believe women need advocacy, and that’s why I’m not abandoning the word “feminist.” But in my opinion a new feminism is needed: one that advocates for women as women. It’s not “women can do anything men can do” anymore—we’re all done using men as the standard to aspire to. (But we also like men and aren’t out to hate on them; they’re our brothers and fathers and husbands!) I embrace a new vision of feminism that values the female body, motherhood, and feminine energy.
A future where caregiving is understood and supported. Marianne Williamson wrote “There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation in the way we raise our children.” Empathy, care, attachment, attunement: these words should be understood and valued by all. Every person is either a mother or a child, and the care we give—especially to young children—is truly world-changing. We need to be talking about this, not in a way that shames or overwhelms parents but in a way that empowers them to see their work as meaningful and important.
$5/month or $50/year. Cancel anytime. Thanks for considering supporting my work—I appreciate it so, so much.
