Pieces of a Woman: harmful or empowering?
As someone with a passion for mothers and birthing, I was prepared to be outraged over this film. I wasn’t.
This is something I wrote on Medium, back when people were writing on Medium. (Are people still writing on Medium?) It was 2021, and I was newly pregnant with my third baby, who is now 2.5 and who was born at home. I’m doing a podcast next week talking about that birth, and for that and a few other reasons, I’ve had birth on the brain lately. I like this piece—which is a review of a movie but also cultural commentary—and thought you might, too, so I’m re-publishing it here. -Amber.
A while back a friend emailed me the trailer for the film Pieces of a Woman, because we both like Shia LaBeouf. (I’m not weighing in on his personal life and recent allegations—I like his acting.) The story revolves around a homebirth gone awry and the fallout in a woman’s life afterward. Though it looked beautiful and I was happy to see new motherhood and birth at the center of a widely distributed film, I told him I wasn’t sure I’d watch it.
This was my reply:
“That looks good. I hadn’t heard about it! Don’t know if I’ll see it though. I’m super passionate about birth and there’s so much fear around it already in our culture. And homebirth is still very demonized and misunderstood as well, and this will likely contribute to that.”
When its Netflix release rolled around, I decided to watch it. (I have sort of a “see for myself” inclination.) I saw a headline this morning that it’s Netflix’s #1 movie right now.
I wasn’t outraged like I thought I’d be.1 Here are my thoughts.
I think it’s a good thing when birth/early motherhood is portrayed in media with accuracy.
The entire first 20 minutes or so of the film is mostly the birth itself. The main character goes into labor, the midwife arrives and begins tending to her and setting up, and things progress from there. It was refreshing to see labor portrayed in this slow, realistic way, as opposed to your standard water breaking / rushing to a hospital / immediate pushing and screaming that seems to be the norm whenever birth appears in TV or film.
Another scene shows the main character about a week after the birth. Having gone back to work in an attempt to cope/resume normalcy, she goes to the bathroom. The camera is on her feet, and we see her pants, and then—yep—her postpartum… garment. I almost cheered.
Why should new mothers be taken by surprise by experiences that almost all women have had? Why are these things not more normalized? Why are things like postpartum diapers and pooping during labor (I said it) and breastfeeding difficulties and mental health issues2 still being whispered about like they’re shameful, embarrassing secrets? It’s odd. And it’s not empowering. Women deserve to know what pregnancy and labor and early motherhood is (or can be) like, and I appreciated that about this film.
The midwife character also felt authentic and accurate.
I was very interested to see how the film would portray the midwife, and I was relieved to see a very accurate depiction. She was calm, knowledgeable, confident. (And, of course, a little bit hippie.)
Most of all, she came off as competent. Because that’s one of the biggest misconceptions, I think: that midwives are, like, crazy witches that show up to a birth (at home or not) with essential oils and mantras and good vibes, as opposed to the skilled, experienced professionals they are. I appreciated the accuracy.
The story of the film, despite the tragedy, isn’t anti-homebirth.
The way the narrative plays out (which says a lot about the theme) isn’t at all against homebirth. In fact, it felt quite the opposite. The story ends with main character finding beauty and strength in her baby and her birth experience—and standing up for the midwife in court, stating she trusted her completely and believed the outcome was no one’s fault.
The film definitely does portray the view of homebirth that prevails in our society (that it’s dangerous) but, to me, this is simply illustrating the cultural zeitgeist. Yes, many people think it’s unsafe; yes, midwives are still mistrusted and demonized. The main character’s mother tells her at one point, “If you had done things my way this never would have happened.” Yeeesh, but also doesn’t that feel like the familiar bullying attitude that people who make intentional-but-alternative medical choices face? It seems to me the film is simply acknowledging true realities.
Of course it’s also true is that most homebirths do not end in tragedy and are very often safer and healthier in many ways than hospital births, and I’m not saying it’s great that the one time homebirth is portrayed in a feature film there’s a tragic outcome (hence my initial reaction). We definitely need more positive and empowering portrayals of birth in our culture. I was just happy to not sense an overt anti-homebirth agenda.
I didn’t feel personally dissuaded from homebirth by watching it. At all.
I took a bit of a special interest in this film, not just because I love all things birth and motherhood, but because of some personal life circumstances: I’m currently pregnant with my third baby—and I’m considering a home birth this time around.
The film didn’t discourage or scare me at all.
The truth is that tragedies happen in motherhood, as in life. Bad outcomes for mothers and babies are always a possibility, no matter where you give birth (and the U.S. has some of the worst outcomes in maternal care in the developed world but we need not go there today).
Also, confronting the worst-case scenarios can make them less scary. Watching the main character process what happened with the strength and integrity it seems sometimes only women can muster was extremely inspiring. If anything, the film made me feel more confident in homebirth and in midwifery and in myself.
In conclusion… I’m not sure
I do worry that people won’t watch the film and that basic knowledge of the plot will reinforce fear and untruth. It’s very possible that all many people will hear is “a movie where they try to have a homebirth and the baby dies,” which without any context will perpetuate negative perceptions of midwifery and birthing at home.
A doula I follow on Instagram posted this:
Would be really awesome if we had a widely distributed feature film about birth where someone labors beautifully at home in a calm and loving atmosphere, catches their own baby in the water with a skilled and prepared team watching by, and then tucks into bed to nurse the baby and eat their favorite snacks, while the midwives quietly and competently care for them according to international and community standards, clean the house, and then tiptoe out. ‘Cuz that’s how they mostly go in real life…
I get that. I agree and I realize there’s work to do. But sometimes it feels like we demand… perfection in our advocacy. All or nothing. I was happy to see birth and new motherhood at the center of a film, and I felt its overall message was an empowering one.
To me, it felt fine, and like a decent first step in the right direction, but maybe the one event of the plot negates the rest. I don’t know. What I do know is that it isn’t bad to have more stories about people who make bold, informed choices and don’t live out of a place of fear, stories that help us realize we can’t keep pain out of our lives as hard as we try, and that we can make it through to the other side.
I’d seen some talk on social media among people in the birth space, and most were upset about it. Because I typically agree with these people, so I think that was the main reason I assumed I’d feel the same. (If you read me long enough you’ll see that I’m not afraid to disagree with anyone. #whyamilikethis)
I really appreciate this review and the points you chose to address. Despite curiosity about how the story is handled and despite reading everything I can about the plot and background of the film, I've chosen so far not to view the film in its entirety (it felt too heavy for this particular season of life). But such stories do need to be told, because they do reflect the real experience of real families. And they need to be told truthfully. In a way, Pieces of a Woman feels like it is one woman's answer in story form to the question of "and then what?" when examining the deep fears around newborn loss that every birth has the potential to raise.
Your exploration brought to mind the miniseries Broadchurch. In one of the the episodes, a relatively normal home birth is indirectly portrayed. Unlike the sensationalizing of birth in most media, the Broadchurch birth creates some background tension in the story (the labor lasts far longer than anticipated), but the whole arc of the story is handled without drama and felt very true to life.
Interesting. I had decided not to watch it, but after reading this I realise I was simply triggered by the bio of the film, and should probably give it a watch